My favorite hug yet.

Yesterday I got an idea for Jack and I to do something special since Joel had to work late. Joel had to be downtown to cover red, white trash, and boom, so he wouldn't be home until around 2 am. So I told Jack early in the day that after we put Emma to bed, he and I could watch the fireworks on TV in the big bed (our bed). And he talked about it all day! I'm not sure if he really even knew what fireworks were then. I think he was just excited that we had plans together. So all day I got him to behave by saying "only good boys get to watch fireworks in the big bed" and he was a perfect angel. So we put Emma to bed around 9:30 and then Jack got ready for bed. We crawled into the big bed to watch fireworks at 10. Jack was more interested in reading his little books, though. I watched the fireworks and I kept saying "oooooo, look at that one!" He was not impressed. So I was a little bummed that I had got him so excited all day and then he seemed ho-hum. After the fireworks, we watched an Elmo video in my bed, and I figured he would fall asleep. No. He kept looking over at me and smiling. Such an onry, yet adorable little smile. I told him he could sleep there with me since Daddy wasn't home yet. But Jack said, "no, I go to Jack's bed." So I took him to his room once Elmo was over.

Now, usually at bedtime I have to ask for a hug and a kiss, and when I say "I love you", Jack says, "ok". It is funny, but I so badly always want to hear him say those words back! Well, last night, as I stood by Jack's bed holding him for the last time that day, he put his little arms aroung my neck and squeezed me so tight! I never wanted him to let go! And when I said "I love you", he smiled real big and said "I love yooooooooou." My heart about exploded. I remember when I was pregnant with Jack and I bought the book "Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul". I love all those books. But anyway, I would read from that book just about every night and just cry...at the thought of being a mother...at the thought of having a child that I would love more than anything in this world. There was one story called "The Hug", and it was about a mom who had a very trying day with her daughter. One of those days where nothing makes them happy, they throw a fit about everything, and you feel like the worst mom ever because you get so impatient with them. So this mom in the story was so exhausted that she went to put her little girl to bed early and when she stood her on the changing table to get her in her jammies, the little girl initiated her first hug ever! And the mom felt so lucky that despite her hard day, she had earned that little girl's first hug! So I read that story over and over and I just cried and cried every time. And I remember thinking then that I couldn't wait to know what that was like...to have your little child hold you in their arms. And now I do. Of course, I've probably hugged Jack thousands of times...but it was different last night. It was like Jack was saying "thanks for making a special memory for just me and you tonight, mommy." He is such a sweet little guy.

So that was my favorite hug yet, and I know there will be lots more to come! It's moments like that that I try to remember on those challenging days of parenthood, and remind myself how lucky I am. This picture is Jack and I on the day we brought him home from the hospital. It is one of my favorite pictures of all time...in fact, I have it framed right here by the computer so I can look at it at least once a day! As he grows up and I have more and more pictures of him, I think I will always keep this one on display where I can see it every day. Ok, now that I am going on and on about my little man, I have to go look at him sleeping...so cute.